Q: Is it a conflict of interest to treat the same patient if you are both a PT and RN?

A: You're not in trouble for your work as a therapist, or a nurse. There's no problem with you treating the injuries and helping patients rehab.

The problems is with you causing the injuries.

We appreciate all the work you've done drumming up business for the hospital. All the late night muggings. All those safe dropped from the top floor. All those booby traps.

However, it has come to my attention that those activities, which have resulted in dozens of very serious, yet highly lucrative injuries, are illegal.

Highly illegal.

Batman villain level illegal.

At this time, I would like to point out that while I may have encouraged you to injure people so they would need our care, I never put anything in writing. You are the one who has done all the actual, physical damage. Your word alone will not stand up in court.

Thank you for all your hard work. Please enjoy your severance package, a carton of cigarettes. You'll probably need that where you are going.