Q: How do you record yourself without a video camera?

A: Hire a court room sketch artist. Have him follow you around for days and draw you living your life. Then bind all the drawings together and create a flip book.

That's what I did. Would you like to see my flip book?

There I am, relaxing in the park.

There's me, making love to a beautiful woman. I climaxed quickly. That's why there are only two pictures.

There I am, shopping for groceries. Exciting stuff, isn't it.

And then there's me, in court, on trial for murder.

That's how I met my sketch artist friend.

Acquitted!