Q: Do you should gain weight or maintain it?

A: Oh, dear, you should gain it! Absolutely.

Think of all the fun you'll have, eating fried chicken all day and drinking milkshakes at night.

I heard that when George Clooney gained weight for his role in Syriana, he drank pints of melted Haagen-Dazs ice cream.

Doesn't that sound wonderful?

I say, gain all the weight you want. Just pack it on. You'll feel better, you'll be happier and it's sure to help your career.

Name me one successful actress in Hollywood who isn't big and fat?