Q: Who is considered the best spine surgeon in India?

A: Um ... Wow ... This is awkward.

When that elephant trampled you, it really didn't crush your spine. We told you that so you wouldn't freak out.

The elephant  popped your head right off your body. Like a champagne cork.

It was actually pretty amazing.

That's why you can't feel anything below your neck. You don't have anything below your neck.

Oh, don't be such a baby. We only told you that you still had a spine because we thought you'd be dead by now.

Honestly, we have no idea how you are still alive.

I promise you this: Once you die, which should be any moment, we will totally use your head as a soccer ball.

You are welcome.