Q: What are the Kroger opening hours on Christmas Day?

A: They're open all day!

Huh, it's locked. That's odd.

Good thing they gave me this key.

On Christmas Day, Kroger hands out tire irons as keys. It's a tradition.

One good swing ... There we go.

That's candy glass, son. All part of the tradition.

That's not an alarm. It's a heavenly choir. They're singing a new song, one you are unfamiliar with.

Now, I have some buddies on the police force and I know they love to do all their shopping at the last minute. Let's get out of here before they get here.

They're usually grumpy, having to work on Christmas and all.

We'll just grab a few things that Mom forgot to buy for Christmas.

Like ham.

And eggnog

And whiskey.

And large bags of cash.