Q: What does a girl want on her birth day?

A: It's hard to tell. Women can be so finicky. I know one thing, your lady friend would like nothing more than to escape from the pit I dug in my basement. It's really deep and the walls are very slick, so it's impossible for her to climb out.

I'm thinking of giving her what she wants for her birthday, and I might just do it, if she PUTS THE FUCKING LOTION IN THE BASKET!